Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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