I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
