Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I deserve this hangover.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
