I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
