I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
