If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
