I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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