His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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