Well apparently he's into motor boating.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
