Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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