weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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