whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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