she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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