the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
