I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
