I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
