did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
