we're blogging at a bar
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
