once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
