Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
