I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Found the puke drawer
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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