its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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