I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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