I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
