the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
