so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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