Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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