I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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