How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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