I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
