I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
