I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
