Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
worst night to have a conscience
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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