Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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