the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
