Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
