To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
