PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
