She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
