$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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