Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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