yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
