she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think I sprained my soul last night
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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