It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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