Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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