I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sext me about skeletons
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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