I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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