Christians are straight up FREAKS
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
