We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
