Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
