Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
where does the pee come out of this thing
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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