Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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