We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
